Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Led Zep Filler Post

I really have jack shit for you guys this week, so I figure I'll just mention a random thought about Led Zeppelin and their rendition of Robert Johnson's Traveling Riverside Blues.

Sign #118 You Are the Greatest Rock Band in History

Your bass player MISSES THE FUCKING CHANGE (1:35), you leave it in the mix, and you still have one of the greatest tracks ever cut to tape. I know what you're thinking: "So what, JPJ hung back on the G which is technically in the subsequent chord and he's a legendary genius so it works based on that alone. Now shut up."

Well, you know what? It doesn't really work. It's actually pretty awkward if you pay attention to it. Save for some trivial overdubs, the arrangement is pretty much power trio. You need the balls on the bass to guide the changes.

And you know what else? YOU shut up!

Of course, that all being said, it's still a masterpiece. Like innumerable other Zeppelin tracks, you can listen to this song at least 4 times: once just for Bonham, once just for Page, once just for Jones, and then once for the whole track.

And just to reiterate: I HAVE JACK SHIT THIS WEEK!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Jersey Shore Report #2: Smart Enterprise on Permanent Vacation

Dramatis Personae

Muk: your hero
Betty: octogenarian CVS cashier
Gina: teen CVS cashier
Diane: CVS manager-on-duty

The Scene: Muk attemps to buy bottled water from CVS in Ocean City, NJ.

Muk: Hi, I checked the shelves and it looks like you are out of the 24-packs of Aquafina that are on sale. Can I get a rain check?
Gina: Oh sure, let me...
Betty [from adjacent register]: Well, the Aquafina is only on sale today, just so you know.
Muk: Oh, I'd like a rain check. Can I get a rain check?
Gina: Of course, let me fill out this...
Betty: Gina, that water is only on sale today. He can't get it for sale on another day.
Diane [intervening]: It's ok, Betty, we'll take care of this. Yes sir, we can get you a rain check, no problem.
Muk: Perfect, thanks.
Betty: I was just trying to explain that the sale is only for today.

Now, as harsh as Diane may have seemed, you must admit it takes a strong individual to hold back on someone who repeatedly fails to grasp the basic concept behind a rain check - innocent old biddy or not.

Confusion, it turns out, is not reserved for the older generation. The story continues,

Gina: So, how many cases of Aquafina did you want?
Muk: Let me see... how about three.
Gina: [begins filling out rain check]
Muk: Well, what's the limit? How many can I get?
Gina: Ummm, well... like, there's no limit. What do you mean?
Muk: Don't worry about it. Put me down for 50.

Between Gina and Betty it's a wonder that the Ocean City CVS isn't 20,000 leagues deep in the red. Needless to say, I took advantage of the arbitrage opportunity presented to me and unloaded those 50 cases down in Avalon FOR A MINT.

The moral? Fuck if I know.

Ok, how about this: next time your local Duane Reade cashier throws change in your face, snaps her gum, and shouts, "Next asshole in line step up!" don't jump to the conclusion that the proverbial grass is greener on the other side of the Hudson.

And your moment of Zen directly from CVS corporate,

From the prescriptions you fill, to the products you purchase, to the service you receive, you can always expect something extra from CVS/pharmacy.

Something extra indeed. Anyone thirsty?

CVS: Our Mission, Vision, and Values
[Earlier - Muk Report: Jersey Shore Report #1: Racial Pride (But Not the Bad Hitler Kind)]

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Muk Concert Series #1: Freddy's Backroom Tonight

With due apologies to my far-flung readers who have no chance in hell of making this...

Where: Freddy's Backroom
When: Tonight (7/12), 9ish

I'll be playing a few songs at Freddy's Backroom this evening at the recurring Wednesday Nights with Cecil event. The full show runs from 8:30 til 11 and I expect to play sometime between 9 and 10. Cecil will also be joined by the multi-talented Rembert Block.

I know half of you are weighing your options: Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs or Muk. Hey, I'm kinda debating that myself.

[More Competition for Muk]

Friday, July 07, 2006

Bumper Badger Part Trois: Would-Be Inventors Lament

Just got this in the ol' mailbag today,

Believe it or not I had designed the very same product on paper, but didn't think of rubber as the material to use. After getting a new car last year I was frustrated to see my shiny new vehicle's bumper being scratched by inconsiderate motorists, so I decided to think of a product that could help me. While walking through Brooklyn last night I noticed the product on a car and freaked out to see my vision in person. I'm telling you it was exactly the same concept. I named it the Bumper Pillow. I went home, looked at my design, and just shook my head. Wow!

I just wanted to share my story with you.


Thanks for sharing, Adrienne.

However, I must ask: is the urban vehicle bumper protection market really saturated? I say follow through on your initial idea and give those quasi-monopolists over at Chariot Auto a run for their money.

Do it for Brooklyn, sista.

[Earlier: Muk Report: Bumper Badger Part Deux: The Response]
[Earlier: Muk Report: Hunting Badgers in Brooklyn]

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Quasi-Vacation Week

It's a short and busy week for me, so I don't expect any posts to go up. Apologies.

Stay solid.