Monday, March 27, 2006

Luggage Woes

Miami was great. The trip back, well, not as much.

Coming soon...

Friday, March 17, 2006

You're Never Too Young for Verdi

Being the good daddy that I am, I have planned a number of fantabulous activities for my little girl as we head down to Miami this weekend. What makes the top of the list, you ask? Behold, from Miami Kids,
March 18 2006 - April 1 2006
Description: Florida Grand Opera.
A very famous opera Based on Victor Hugo's play. Rigoletto narrates the sad story of a deformed, disillusioned court jester who enjoys arranging female prey for his sex-crazed master, the Duke.

You see, the thing is, I can only shelter my little one for so long. At some point she simply must realize that we live in a world full of deformed court jesters and failed regicides.

You call it mean. I call it tough love.

(Have a good weekend, folks.)

[Miami Kids - Calendar of Events]

Monday, March 13, 2006

RESULTS: Babelfuck Mistranslation Contest (#2)

You all failed. Failed! Here are the results of the latest Babelfuck contest,

1. Here Comes Your Man, Pixies
2. Time, Pink Floyd
3. Radar Love, Golden Earring
4. Paul Revere, Beastie Boys
5. Heavy Metal Drummer, Wilco

Unfortunately, no single person got all 5. My guess is that I either made it too hard, or that "bragging rights" is damn near the shittiest prize out there. Little of both probably.

I think I'm done with the whole Babelfuck thing anyway. As a wise friend in 8th grade once said,

"It's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun."


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Who Is Muk?

New readers often wonder just who this Muk guy is. Here's some edification from the ol' Wikipedia,
Muk, quite frankly, is the personification of sludge and bad hygiene. Muk thrives in toxic waste and garbage. It inhabits any polluted area; including abandoned factories, garbage dumps and sewers.

Muk itself is also a source of pollution. As Muk slides across the ground, it leaves behind a trail of highly poisonous sludge.

No one tampered with that entry either. Ouch.

[Earlier, Muk Report: Wikipedia Bumps in the Road]
[Official Pokemon Website]

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Babelfuck Mistranslation Contest (#2)

Would you believe me if I told you that half of the emails I get are from people imploring me to do another Babelfuck contest?

Of course you wouldn't because you are all savvy people that see through my silly lies. To be frank, half of my emails are actually from some woman who would "like to have some NoStrings AttachedSexX," but that bitch still hasn't written me back. Fucking tease.

Right. So, anyway, back to the main attraction: Babelfuck Contest #2. This time it's for bragging rights. And before you spoiled little shits scoff at a non-monetary prize, remember that our founding fathers died defending your bragging rights.

Spoiled little shits.

Ok, wow, I am like totally ADD today. Back to the program. Here are five new songs; and I am praying to God/Allah/Tooth Fairy that it's harder than the last contest. You guys were all over that.

Oh, two restrictions to point out: no online resources (i.e., Google) permitted; immediate family and siblings are excluded from posting guesses - email me directly if you want to play for fun. I can't really enforce any of this, so please be a good sport.

Song #1

"Exists a waiting so much long-lasting. You will not wait for never so much. Here comes your individual."

Song #2

"No one to you said when in order to it runs. You lost the initial firearm arm."

Song #3

"When this alone and they take too much, it sends a cable that emanates through above."

Song #4

"We walked in air, it had a firearm arm, I had a grin. Think that this history is beyond but is expects in order to it begins."

Song #5

"I lose those areas of heavy metals that I used in order to I go I see in the landing the summertime."

Who will be crowned Babelfuck Mistranslation Champion #2? Drop your guesses in the comments section and await the results.

[Previously, Muk Report: Babelfuck Mistranslation Contest]
[Previously, Muk Report: Babelfuck Mistranslation Contest Winner]
[Urban Dictionary: Babelfuck]