Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Jersey Shore Report #2: Smart Enterprise on Permanent Vacation

Dramatis Personae

Muk: your hero
Betty: octogenarian CVS cashier
Gina: teen CVS cashier
Diane: CVS manager-on-duty

The Scene: Muk attemps to buy bottled water from CVS in Ocean City, NJ.

Muk: Hi, I checked the shelves and it looks like you are out of the 24-packs of Aquafina that are on sale. Can I get a rain check?
Gina: Oh sure, let me...
Betty [from adjacent register]: Well, the Aquafina is only on sale today, just so you know.
Muk: Oh, I'd like a rain check. Can I get a rain check?
Gina: Of course, let me fill out this...
Betty: Gina, that water is only on sale today. He can't get it for sale on another day.
Diane [intervening]: It's ok, Betty, we'll take care of this. Yes sir, we can get you a rain check, no problem.
Muk: Perfect, thanks.
Betty: I was just trying to explain that the sale is only for today.

Now, as harsh as Diane may have seemed, you must admit it takes a strong individual to hold back on someone who repeatedly fails to grasp the basic concept behind a rain check - innocent old biddy or not.

Confusion, it turns out, is not reserved for the older generation. The story continues,

Gina: So, how many cases of Aquafina did you want?
Muk: Let me see... how about three.
Gina: [begins filling out rain check]
Muk: Well, what's the limit? How many can I get?
Gina: Ummm, well... like, there's no limit. What do you mean?
Muk: Don't worry about it. Put me down for 50.

Between Gina and Betty it's a wonder that the Ocean City CVS isn't 20,000 leagues deep in the red. Needless to say, I took advantage of the arbitrage opportunity presented to me and unloaded those 50 cases down in Avalon FOR A MINT.

The moral? Fuck if I know.

Ok, how about this: next time your local Duane Reade cashier throws change in your face, snaps her gum, and shouts, "Next asshole in line step up!" don't jump to the conclusion that the proverbial grass is greener on the other side of the Hudson.

And your moment of Zen directly from CVS corporate,

From the prescriptions you fill, to the products you purchase, to the service you receive, you can always expect something extra from CVS/pharmacy.

Something extra indeed. Anyone thirsty?

CVS: Our Mission, Vision, and Values
[Earlier - Muk Report: Jersey Shore Report #1: Racial Pride (But Not the Bad Hitler Kind)]


At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The vaudeville routine you endured is still much easier on the nerves than the median DR experience.

At 6:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next time you come in, I'm spitting in your precious "today only" sale water.

At 1:53 AM, Blogger Rob said...

Way to choose your battles.

At 7:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have redirected my DR anger to CVS in the last couple months. I think the last time I was in there I threw a box of Cheez-its and a tube of bacitracin at the pharmacists.

At 8:11 AM, Blogger Muk said...

Rob - my alternate post idea this week was "what's the deal with bananas that look ripe, but really aren't?"

Consider yourself lucky.


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