Kids Suck / Are a Gift from GAWD!

Aside from pathological who-gives-a-shit-itis, the main reason I haven't posted recently is because of all the other bad excuses. What? What I'm saying is that I'm drunk.

Also, I'm a dad again - AGAIN!! Yeah, thanks in advance and all that.

Yes, it's true. So fucking true that I just got projectile shitted on without HAVING PAID FOR IT.

So anyway, like any scared, drunk human that's me I sought counsel from Minnesota Paul. Because when it comes to kids, Minnesota Paul is my go to guy.

MinnesotaPaul: I remember the early days where you could look at them and say "Hey!! I'm gonna go clean the ducts in the basement! Wanna help!??" And they'd light up -- now, when I tell them we're going to the fucking store, you'd think I'd burned them with a cigarette.

MukReport: Uh, "congrats dude" would have done it.