Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Wikipedia: Bumps on the Road to Knowledge Utopia

From Wikipedia's entry on Andrew Jackson,

"As president, Andrew Jackson established himself as a refined man who owned three gerbils and liked cheese."
In other news, sales of Encyclopædia Britannica up for Q1 2006.


Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Still Here

Lordy me, there's so much to talk about these days, what with the Olympics, the Vice President shooting people in the face, and putative terrorists bidding to guard our ports. Personally, the only ports I have that need protecting are being consumed as we speak, so that's a moot point now.

The Muk Report has been slow lately, but I plan to open things up to the readers with another Babelfuck contest very soon. Stay tuned.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Park Slope T-Shirt Designs: Comments Roundup

You can read the full post and all of the comments here, but below are some of my favorites. Man, some of you people really know how to get your hate on. I love it.

"Haters. Would you rather the procreators just give up and move to the suburbs?" - Anonymous

[Ed. note: Umm, it looks like the answer is "yes."]

"Can't we enjoy clog comfort and bask in the dorkiness of it all at once?" - Anonymous

"I think this is unfair. Someone should make fun of the Upper West Siders and Upper East Siders and Faux Hipster Lower East Siders first..." - Anonymous

"i agree, this is completely unfair. so what if there happens to be lots of outbacks, clogs, and buggaboos? it's what makes park slope park slope. get over it." - Anonymous

"Unfair" or not, it's frickin hysterical." - Anonymous

"What really cracks up though are the pompous, humorless responses from those defending Da Slope. Boo hoo." - Anonymous

"Live in the Slope, have a baby (although I don't use a stroller), wear Danskos often and I think it's great!" - Anonymous

"How about a shirt with an 'F' train logo at the 7th ave subway station with caption reading: 'Next Stop, Montclair, NJ!'"

[Ed. note: Now, that's fucking funny.]

"Concept: brilliant. Not having actual t-shirts ready for the mongrel hordes banging down your door: an unfortunate oversight. - dailyheights

[Ed. note: Thanks for rubbing it in, Bowser.]

"I'll take the corner of 7th and Connecticut Muffin. I bet I'll sell the most!!! Bring it!" - Anonymous

"Can we rag on the Co-Op more? For me it's the center of the self-righteous in Park Slope. All these socialist wannabes in their expensive clothes standing around looking self-impressed. How many people does it take ring up some environmentally friendly biodegradable peanut-free toilet paper anyway? You've got about a dozen knuckleheads sitting behind some table tallying up God knows what and talking about their latest yoga class." - Billy

"i think we have the same phenomena here in berkeley ca. not as many volvos. you can see the outbacks being valet-parked on weekends while the owners are inside tasting $7 gourmet organic marshmallows and being rung up by the cutest, tattooed little vegan goth babes in those little green aprons." - liza

[Ed. note to self: Renew BurningAngel subscription.]

"Let's not forget our beloved native business owners. Seems like every knucklehead with too much money and time on their hands is either opening up a restaurant or one of those overpriced boutiques." - Billy

[Ed. note: Billy, you're a riot.]

"I drive a volvo station wagon, have an orange bugaboo frog, where clogs and rectangular glasses. Have I reached critical mass yet?" - Anonymous

"Muk knows the Bugaboo affordability more than anyone. He wouldn't let me buy one. We have a Maclaren (or more than one). He will however outfit his entire family in Danskos and laugh about it. We don't have an Outback (yet)." - Muk's Wife

[Ed. note: Didn't I ban you?]

"Listen, people, nobody is hating on procreation (or strollers). But whenever I get a half-day off from my double shift at the factory, or take a walk for some fresh air amidst six consecutive days of studying for exams, do I need to see the same constipated-looking women rolling their spawn around at noon while buying lattes and organic produce?" - Anonymous

"Park Slope is an excellent place to live if you don't mind the unremitting stench of soiled diapers and the din of braying infants." - Anonymous

[Ed. note: Replace 'Park Slope' with 'Williamsburg,' 'diapers with 'hipsters,' and 'infants' with 'douchebags.' It works, really!]

"I grew up in Park Slope, back when working class people could afford to buy homes there and the place still had the feeling of a distinctive neighborhood. Now it has all the character if a gigantic LL Bean outlet. All of you baby bearin', inside tradin', brownstone ownin' sons of bitches can kiss my ass!!" - Anonymous

John Lennon, as we all know, penned the words, "Imagine all the people living life in peace."

It goes without saying: he didn't live in the Slope.

[Previously, The Muk Report: Park Slope T-Shirt Designs]

Monday, February 06, 2006

Those Wacky T-Shirts!

Hey folks, I appreciate all the attention from my Park Slope T-Shirt Designs. I wasn't expecting a 15 minute time killer to garner the attention that it did.

Unfortunately, I have no immediate plans to sell shirts based on these designs. The last thing I need right now is a cease and desist letter from Subaru, Dansko, and/or Bugaboo for (ab)use of their copyrighted images. Not to mention, I don't know a lick of Dutch or Danish, which would most certainly complicate things further.

P.S. I'm wearing clogs right now.

P.P.S. And nothing else.

P.P.P.S. Sorry.

[Gawker: Muk Report's Park Slope T-Shirt Designs]

Friday, February 03, 2006

How Many of These Could I Move at 7th and Union?