Comment Here Anonymously

A few people have lamented not being able to comment here on The Muk Report without signing in to Blogger first. I changed that setting, so you should be able to comment anonymously now.

Sorry 'bout that.

Kill Whitey in a Feckless, Ironic Way

Well, it looks like I am too late to catch this event in Williamsburg tonight. From Todd P's site,

TONITE - Thursday, April 28th @ CLUB EXIT — TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE!

|| dj Kill Whitey

|| KILL WHITEY DANCE PARTY TO FOLLOW

Now, I used to be all for coming down on whitey, but somewhere along the line, probably when I married whitey and then sired a half-whitey, I must have lost my edge.

Seriously, will someone drop flyers over Williamsburg, announcing the death of irony?

Bud Light: Hate the Beer, Not the Brand

There are plenty of bad things you can say about the nearly unpotable swill that is Bud Light. However, you have to hand it to the marketing department over there for the "Real Men of Genius" ad campaign.

You can find downloads here.

I think my current favorite is Mr. Horse-Drawn Carriage Driver.

Does that singer in the background sound familiar? It should, as it's none other than David "Eye of the Tiger" Bickler, lead singer of defunct 80s band, Survivor. It may be self-parody, but something tells me he's probably doing better than Loverboy frontman, Mike Reno.

Umm, workin' for the weekend indeed, Mike.

You My Masta Now?

Way back in the previous decade when I graduated from college, I was doing what many other Gen-X slacker types were doing: surfing the ARPANET, buying flannel, playing in a band and, well, generally trying to avoid anything resembling a normal career. However, not blessed with a trust fund or, well, even a mutual fund, I had to figure something out. So I did what any other person whose mother works at a university (read: free tuition) would have done - grad school.

Then the tech boom started, and my penchant for technology, coupled with my secret love for "the man", led me suddenly to corporate whoredom, leaving me one course and a thesis shy of completing my degree. A few years ago, frustrated with myself for letting things go, I decided to finish what I started back in '95. I commuted from NYC to Philadelphia every Monday for an entire semester to complete that last class. And finally, this past Sunday I handed in my thesis. It may have been eight years too late, but that's better than, ummm, like ten years too late or some shit.

What's my point here? I don't really know. Maybe this is my verbose way of sighing in relief. It feels good to be done.

They Made A Funny

"I can’t be a Democrat, because I like to spend the money I make. But I can't be a Republican, because I like to spend the money I make on drugs and whores."

-Jim David

"I took my daughter to the circus, and she asked me, 'Daddy, how do they teach the bear how to ride a bike?' I said it's easy, they nail his feet to the pedals and they beat the shit out of him. He's not riding, he's running. He just happens to be attached to the bike."

-Robert Schimmel

Some Stuff I Read

Not a complete list, but...

Periodicals

The New Yorker - often pedantic, yet thoroughly enlightening and accessible. Really the only magazine where a writer would force the words "atavistic" or "protean" in a piece about Maroon 5.

The Atlantic Monthly - long articles, some by a guy named Langewiesche (pronounced "Langewiesche"). Lots of satisfying this-is-how-the-U.S.-is fucking-up-abroad articles. Smart and informative like the New Yorker, but less masturbatory.

The Economist - breadth at the expense of depth. Nearly impossible to keep up with on a weekly basis unless all you do is read The Economist. And yeah, I get it, bad shit is happening in Sudan.

Web

Craigslist - if you're under the age of 35, you probably got half your shit through Craigslist. "Rants and raves" section is a totally irresistible trainwreck.

Gawker - seminal, "snarky", NYC blog edited by Jessica Coen. Gawker Stalker is a wonderful guilty pleasure. Ok, the whole thing is wonderful guilty pleasure. Yes, I have a crush on Jessica Coen.

Chowhound - if you are serious about food, this is one of a few choice destinations. Chowhounders proudly eschew hype and trends to seek out real gems on the food landscape. Crudely run site with curiously angry and defensive staffers, so don't step on any toes; read here for more info.

Curbed - NYC real estate is a microcosm of all that is great and completely revolting about the City. Curbed always has the scoop.

How I Got Banned from Chowhound

I have been a big found of Chowhound since reading about it in a New Yorker article by Calvin Trillin a few years ago. I love everything about Chowhound, from the clunky site itself to the broader ethos of "Chowhounding".

Well, almost everything.

One of the site's rules forbids mentioning establishments in their "ban list", a list composed of eateries that engaged, or were perceived to have engaged in some type of shilling on the Chowhound site - i.e., restaurant insiders and/or affiliates posting biased reviews in an attempt to get some free marketing.

One of the restaurants in this list is Franny's, a terrific brick oven pizzeria right near my home. Apparently, someone from the restaurant fucked up when the place first opened and now they are part of the shit list. This sucks for both Franny's and anyone that wants to discuss Franny's on Chowhound. Now, people still do discuss Franny's (and other verboten restaurants), but as soon the thread is discovered, the volunteer Chowhound cops take it down.

I was pretty surprised one day last year to find this in my inbox,

"It's especially out of bounds ... to urge other participants to defy Chowhound policy and make our work more difficult and aggravating than it already is ... we urge you to find (or start) one run more to your liking by a team less deserving of your snide disrespect and vandalism. You're no longer welcome at Chowhound.com."

Ouch.

I'm not sure what's better - the disingenuous recommendation that I start my own food site, or being accused of vandalism.

It's just a message board people. Lighten the fuck up.

The Not-Really-Inaugural Post

Ok, I have decided, for the benefit of the 4 of you out there that are interested, to try to update this on a daily basis. I know what you're thinking... another bozo jumping on the self-indulgent blogging bandwagon.

Partially true. Ok, completely true.

That being said, here's some of the stuff I plan to write about: music (my own and others'), art, comedy, food and drink, my Brooklyn neighborhood, running, chicks I want to do, and other things that may come along that I happen to be digging at the time.

Here's what you won't find: treacly musings on fatherhood, pictures of my cat (I don't have one), complaints about my job vis-a-vis hackneyed references to Dilbert, and other generally mundane crap that somehow gets elevated to importance simply by being available for wide-scale consumption.

Sure, I may lapse into banality, in which case you can send your hate mail and/or male enhancement advertisements to mukundrao-at-hotmail-dot-com.