Wednesday, August 31, 2005

He Giveth and Taketh Away

God: "Here's the deal. I will devastate an entire region, killing thousands and displacing hundreds of thousands more.

Humanity: "Umm, ok."

God: "And in return..."

Humanity: "What?"

God: One dude gets a boat.

Humanity: [Places rifle to head]

[Chalmette man quote from WWL-TV Blog]

CNN Redacts!

Wow, just as I was posting this, CNN changed the 4th bullet to something more, well, appropriate.

I snagged that one just in time.

The Real Tragedy of Katrina

Like many of you, my attention and concern has been directed at the terrible situation down in the gulf states and, in particular, New Orleans. Checking CNN this morning, I found the lede above.

Ok, here's what I make of this,
  1. The city is drowning in water by the minute.
  2. At least 70 are dead.
  3. There is a chaotic attempt under way to get 20,000 people evacuated from the Superdome.
  4. And most importantly: no gambling in Mississippi.

"Double nightmare" indeed. First, there's no drinkable water. Now, we can't play slots.

Why does God hate us so?

Friday, August 19, 2005

And His Game Was Just Starting to Turn Around

From CNN,

Start Spreading the News...

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

-Emma Lazarus

I now present you with the following taken directly from NYC Craiglist Rants & Raves.

Hi! Okay after trying to find a job in NYC from home (I live in PA) I have decided to move to Manhattan for a month (I am renting a room in an apartment) and am going to fight like hell to get a job.
So here's my question: I will be new to NYC, are there any resources for learning about the city available? Like a place I could learn about the subway system, etc.
I am just trying to do as much research as possible so I can make the most out of my month there.
I'm just not having any luck trying to find a job from home.
Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer this NYC transplant from PA.

REPLY #1: I say you'll get played. This city is tough.

REPLY #2: Are you totally loaded, rich, trust fund baby, etc. what ? I hope so. otherwise, good fucking luck.

REPLY #3: Stupidity is NOT a good starting ground in NYC, coupled with naivetee is even worse!

Stupid, naive and guileless is a losing combination in any major city!

MY ADVICE; Stay in cowtown and spare yourself the heartache!

The NYC welcome wagon strikes again!

Sandra Day O'Connor / Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleader Profile Mashup

Sandra Day O'Connor

Years As An Eagle Cheerleader: 1

College: Stanford University B.A., LL.B

Career/Profession: Retired United States Supreme Court Justice

Favorite Quote: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

What You Like Most About The City Of Philadelphia: Its crazy, diehard, sports fans!

Favorite Player: QB Donovan McNabb

Hobbies: Hiking, camping, any water sports, being at the beach, and of course, shopping!

What You Like Most About Being A Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleader: Being able to perform for thousands of people and share what I enjoy doing.

Describe Yourself In Three Words: Genuine, spontaneous, kind-hearted.

Describe The Perfect Evening Out: Playing football on the beach, having a barbeque, then lying out on the sand watching the stars at night.

Favorite Movie: Scarface

Favorite Food: Barbeque and my mom's southern cooking.

Favorite Television Show: The Jamie Kennedy Experiment

Pets: A Chocolate Lab "Roxy"

Favorite CD: Bob Marley and the Wailers Greatest Hits

Most Adventurous Thing You Have Ever Done: Four wheel driving in my Jeep.

What Two Things Would You Bring With You To A Deserted Island: Music and a razor.

Favorite Beach: Ocean City, MD

If You Could Have Dinner With Anyone In The World, Who Would It Be: My mom.

Favorite Place To Visit/Travel To: I love to visit my grandparents. They live in southern Virginia. They have a house in the mountains. It's so pretty! I would also love to travel to Hawaii.

What Is The Most Attractive Quality You Find In Someone: Honesty, humility, and caring.

Next To Football, What Is Your Favorite Sport: Boxing

Favorite Website:

Favorite Music Video: Chris Isaak's Wicked Game

What Do I Do To Relax: Enjoy a bubble bath with some candles.

Favorite Philadelphia Eagles Moment: When QB A.J. Feeley and the team pulled together when Donovan McNabb and Koy Detmer went down with injuries.

Favorite Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Moment: My very first opening game.

What I Do To Stay Fit: I just try to stay busy! Dance, power-walking, try to eat right and in moderation. I also try not to eat after 7 p.m.

Monday, August 15, 2005


My good friend Erik and I just spent a few days down in the Crescent City. New Orleans is one of my favorite American cities, largely for the genuine southern hospitality and outstanding regional cuisine.

Oh, and the whole celebration of vice and turpitude doesn't hurt either.

Some random thoughts about the trip,

1. Beignets are very special. You would think that fried dough is just, well, fried dough. I have eaten plenty of zeppoli and funnel cake in my life, but a beignet from Cafe Du Monde is truly a fritter sui generis. Hey, maybe it's the heady gulf air clouding my judgment, but I still stand by this.

2. Everything that we had, from the pan-fried trout to the roast duck, at Brigtsen's was, not unexpectedly, amazing. However, the standout was a whale of a softshell crab prepared with pecans and a lemon bordelaise sauce. Simply wonderful.

3. Strippers can be very catty.

4. The service and hospitality offered in New Orleans is a welcome relief from some of the shit that we have to put up with in NYC.

5. Coop's Place still makes great, inexpensive gumbo and jambalaya.

6. I can't believe the doorman at that club willfully took and ate our leftover food.

6. Bourbon Street is still a dirty, tourist-laden mess.

7. You know lady, I don't think the girls dancing across the street appreciate being accused of having HIV (see #3).

8. Audubon Park is always worth the charmingly slow streetcar ride down St. Charles.

9. Jacques-Imo's closes during parts of August. Call ahead lest you suffer sore disappointment.

10. Permissive open container laws are a good thing.

11. I dig the bars and vibe in the Faubourg Marigny section of the city, just past the eastern edge of the Quarter.

12. Any band fronted by 5 trombone players that covers Black Sabbath and The Egdar Winter Group gets 'nuff respect.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Cartman Does The Aristocrats

I have to say that I am looking forward to seeing The Aristocrats. However, because the cost of a babysitter is about three times the cost of the movie, I will happily wait til it's out on DVD.

In the meantime, I have been warming myself up by watching clips like this one from the South Park gang.

Warning: in addition to being hilarious, it is also extremely offensive and nowhere near safe for work.

[Courtesy of iFilm]