Monday, June 05, 2006

The Challenge of Raising a Straight Child

I just worked a future value analysis - and if I invested $1000 today at an annual rate of 9%, compounding continuously, after 16 years I would be pointing a loaded .44 Magnum at my head.

It turns out that in the year 2022, only the wealthiest one percent of Americans will be able to afford community college. And based on what I've learned about community college from Chris Rock, this is not good.

Desperate, I entertained fantasies of athletic scholarships. My daughter's physical build definitely skews toward that of my wife, which takes distance running off the table. And Stanford has yet to boast a caber tossing team, so that's out too.

As I began deliberating other options, I had the following exchange with my two-year-old,

Muk: Do you want to take a bath with dada?
Muk's daughter: YAY, PENIS!!

Well, there goes crew and softball too.

3 Comments:

At 7:30 AM, Blogger Muk said...

IT'S FUNNY 'CAUSE IT'S PARTIALLY TRUE!!

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger Cupcake said...

Is that the Smith College crew team? Please, those ladies are downright hetero compared to the rugby team.

I believe straight girls like field hockey. Possibly has something to do with the skirt. Work that angle.

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Muk said...

I think it's UC Berkeley, Cupcake. Field hockey may be the answer, as that is pretty much how she uses her little golf clubs. So much for Michelle Wie in the making.

 

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