Thursday, June 15, 2006

Muk and Rob Tackle the Big Issues #1: Golf Infomercials

[19:07] mukrao: ever watch the golf channel in the middle of the day?
[19:07] RobTheBouncer: unfortunately yes
[19:07] mukrao: jesus, what a mess
[19:08] RobTheBouncer: hell, Ken Venturi wouldn't lie to me to sell something, would he?
[19:10] mukrao: "I hold this special Haitian Voodoo Amulet in my asscheeks when I play and now I'm a scratch golfer!"
[19:10] mukrao: "I'm also gay now!!"
[19:10] mukrao: "Back to you, Ken."
[19:10] RobTheBouncer: "Jim McLean sold it to me! And you can trust him, because he's an old white guy!"
[19:11] mukrao: "For 5 easy payments of $49.99 WE'LL PRAY FOR YOUR SHITTY GOLF GAME TO GET BETTER."
[19:12] RobTheBouncer: "And you can believe us because we're standing next to a rose garden, and there's soft jazz playing in the background!"
[19:12] mukrao: "And hell, we'll even throw in that fucked up club with the weird balls on it and the head in the wrong place."
[19:13] RobTheBouncer: "And look! We even have a computer generated dispersion diagram to show you how much closer to the pin you're gonna be for trusting us!"
[19:14] mukrao: marketing 101: dispersion diagrams MOVE UNITS
[19:14] RobTheBouncer: "Here's a testimonial from a fat, middle-aged white guy with glasses!"
[19:14] RobTheBouncer: "He sucks, but we caught his one good shot, and now we're gonna show it to you!"
[19:15] RobTheBouncer: "And here's his wife! If you don't believe us, surely you can trust an upper middle class housewife in her 50's!"
[19:15] mukrao: marketing 102: granpda paunch and liver spots MOVE EVEN MORE UNITS
[19:17] RobTheBouncer: you remember the one with that dude Kevin Trudeau?
[19:17] RobTheBouncer: he had some "golf pro" who was going to be blackballed from the profession for releasing the "real secret"
[19:17] RobTheBouncer: and it was some grizzled tan dude with a mustache
[19:18] RobTheBouncer: I was like, "wow, that's a golf pro, all right."
[19:18] RobTheBouncer: he sure is grizzled
[19:18] mukrao: marketing 201: grizzled MOVES THE MOST UNITS!!!!
[19:18] RobTheBouncer: this exchange is going on your blog, isn't it


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