To the subhuman fuckface that swiped my wife's wallet this morning and ran up $3,000 worth of charges at three different stores in the space of 45 minutes:
I wish you the worst tidings this holiday season. I hope Santa comes down your chimney, fucks you in the ass, and shits in your stocking.
Please God, if you are really out there, give this guy $3,000 worth of repeated crow bar blows to the face. Thanks in advance.